What Are We Really Doing Here?
A personal reflection on ambition, purpose, and the invisible thread that connects our ordinary lives to something greater.
A few months ago, I was walking my daughter to school when she asked, “Daddy, why do we do all this every day? Why do you work and I go to school?” Her tone was casual, but her words struck a nerve. I gave a half-hearted answer about learning and growing and making a life. But the truth was, I didn’t really know. Not in that moment.
Later that night, after the dishes were washed and the house was quiet, I found myself outside, staring up at a sky so impossibly full of stars it made my chest tighten. It was the kind of night that reminds you just how small we are. That there are galaxies spinning millions of light years away—and here I am, fretting over deadlines, home renovations, and what to cook on Tuesday.
We fill our days with goals—professional milestones, fitness plans, family dreams. But in the face of the infinite, what does it all mean? If the universe is 13.8 billion years old, and we live for less than a century, how do we make that time count?
This article explores that existential tension—and the surprising clarity it can offer. Because the point isn’t to despair at our smallness. It’s to discover the enormous freedom hidden in it.
What Does It All Mean? The Paradox of Pursuit
We are meaning-seeking creatures. It's what sets us apart from the rest of nature. A tree doesn’t ask why it grows. A lion doesn’t worry about legacy. But we do. Endlessly.
We set personal goals to feel progress. We pursue professional dreams to leave a mark. We invest in family to feel rooted. These are not bad things. In fact, they’re beautiful. But too often, they become blind rituals—things we do because we’ve always done them, or because everyone else is doing them.
Here’s the catch: no external success can fully satisfy an internal question.
At the heart of our ambition is often a hope that if we just achieve enough, we’ll finally feel like we matter. But in a universe that doesn’t care about your promotions or your Instagram posts, that logic crumbles. And that's where something remarkable happens: we get to choose what matters.
The cosmos doesn’t assign value. We do.
When we realize how small we are, we can finally stop pretending we have to prove our worth to anyone. We can trade grandiosity for intimacy. Noise for depth. Endless hustle for presence.
People Who Found Meaning in the Margins
Let’s look at a few people who embraced this tension—and used it to reshape their lives.
1. Carl Sagan – The Cosmic Perspective
Carl Sagan spent his life exploring the universe, and yet his most famous message was deeply human. In Pale Blue Dot, he wrote about Earth as “a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam.” His conclusion? This realization should not depress us—it should humble and unite us. “It underscores our responsibility to deal more kindly with one another.”
Sagan wasn’t advocating nihilism. He was calling for compassion.
2. Viktor Frankl – Meaning as a Lifeline
A survivor of Auschwitz and a psychiatrist, Frankl observed that the people who endured the camps were not the physically strongest, but those who found purpose—whether in a memory, a prayer, or a future task. His book Man’s Search for Meaning remains one of the most powerful texts on how humans can find purpose even in the most senseless situations.
These are not superheroes. They are people who dared to ask the question most of us avoid: Why are we really here?
This Is What Matters: A Final Reflection
In the end, the universe may not care what we do with our lives. But the people we love do. The communities we serve do. The child we comfort, the friend we forgive, the story we share—they all matter. In fact, they may be the only things that ever truly do.
So, yes, build your business. Train for that marathon. Write your novel. But don’t confuse the project for the point.
The point is to feel deeply, give freely, and live honestly in the small corner of the cosmos you get to touch.
The vastness of the universe is not there to make you feel insignificant. It’s there to remind you how precious your smallness truly is.
So next time you're drowning in to-dos or chasing the next milestone, ask yourself:
Is this really the important thing? Or am I just trying to feel important?
Do what matters in your universe. That’s where the real magic is.
The paradox: We seek meaning through doing, yet true meaning often comes through being.
Our condition: We are small in the universe, but large in one another’s lives.
The shift: From proving worth through ambition to creating depth through presence.
Real lesson: Choose what matters, not what impresses.
The Hidden Meaning: What to Do When Everything Feels Pointless
The Flaw in Traditional Thinking
Modern life teaches us that meaning = success + recognition. But this logic is deeply flawed.
Why?
It externalizes validation: We seek approval from systems that don’t know us.
It never ends: Once you achieve something, a new goal appears.
It ignores the soul: Metrics cannot measure depth, love, or fulfillment.
This treadmill keeps us busy—but also emotionally malnourished. We think we’re living “on purpose,” but often we’re just performing productivity.
What Actually Works: Real Pathways to Meaning
Let’s break it down into three lenses: Micro, Meso, and Macro Meaning.
Micro Meaning: The Small Sacred
Focus on the everyday moments that give life texture.
Morning rituals
Conversations with loved ones
Acts of kindness no one sees
These aren’t just routines—they’re sacred. Document them. Revisit them. Protect them.
Meso Meaning: Community and Connection
This is about who we share life with.
Reinvest in long-term relationships
Join or build a purpose-driven group
Create rituals with others (monthly dinners, storytelling nights)
Purpose magnifies when shared.
Macro Meaning: Personal Mythology
You get to write your own myth.
What do you want your grandchildren to remember about you?
What story do you want to tell about your life?
What mountain are you willing to climb even if no one sees it?
Choose meaning on purpose, not by default.
Questions Insiders Ask
Q: Isn’t it selfish to turn inward and ignore the world’s problems?
A: No. Grounded inner work expands your capacity to serve others. The most impactful people act from inner clarity, not external pressure.
Q: I feel torn between survival (job, money) and meaning. How do I balance it?
A: You start small. Find micro meaning where you are. Stack purpose over time. Even washing dishes can be sacred if done with presence.
Q: Does everyone have to find meaning? Can’t we just live?
A: You can. But people who explore meaning tend to suffer less when life gets hard—and enjoy more when life is good. It’s not a burden; it’s an upgrade.
An Actionable Protocol: The 7-Day Meaning Reset
Day 1 – Audit your calendar:
Mark what energizes vs. what drains. You’ll be shocked at how many hours go to meaningless obligations.
Day 2 – Define your sacred hours:
Pick one hour daily for presence—no screen, no multitasking. Just being.
Day 3 – Write your “Why I Exist” paragraph:
One paragraph, handwritten. No editing. Just flow.
Day 4 – Interview someone older:
Ask: “What do you regret not doing sooner?”
The answers are gold.
Day 5 – Do one invisible act of generosity.
No recognition. Just joy.
Day 6 – Create a ‘meaning shelf.’
Pick three items that represent what matters most to you. Keep them visible.
Day 7 – Craft your meaning mantra.
Example: “I make small things sacred.”
Repeat it daily for the next 30 days.
You’re not a cosmic accident. You’re a conscious force in a quiet corner of the galaxy.
Live accordingly.
Wonderful read. I loved how you broke it down to simple sections for what is a complex question. And the fact that your daughter inspired this post. Don’t kids just come up with the most brilliant questions sometimes? 😊
Not sure we will have a straightforward answer or the search is in itself the purpose. You’re putting words to something I’ve been trying to untangle in a totally different way. Love how you grounded this. Following along with interest